This a quote of unverified origin which probably emerged organically and was used widely as a marketing phrase for dance teachers and studios.
I’ve used it myself on many occasions!
And whilst I believe there is more than a grain of truth to it, I think it’s important to realise that the key to longevity in relationships isn’t about dance itself per se.
It’s the opportunity dance provides for closeness, connection, playfulness and collaboration.
To take time out of everyday life and the mundane.
To explore touch and trust.
To revive chemistry and connection.
To have a new sandbox for seduction, mystery and desire which doesn’t inevitably lead to the bedroom – but most definitely can.
I’ve taught a lot of couples privately over the years, and one of the things that I have always loved to watch is the way the relationship starts to “breathe” and reset all by itself when a proper frame and correct lead/follow dynamic is established.
It’s not uncommon at all for there to be an imbalance when couples start out – with one partner feeling that they are carrying more of the weight, having to pick up all of the slack.
Or for partners to be pulling in different directions.
As in life, so it is in dance.
But there can only be one leader at any given time, or everything stops dead.
What Salsa teaches is that leading and following is NOT about domination and submission, or one partner giving up control.
Rather, it’s about collaboration and co-creation, and knowing when to take up space, or give more space to the other.
It’s a sophisticated shared language which can express everything that words cannot.
And when both partners feel seen, safe and supported…they can BREATHE again.
They can find themselves – and each other.
They can know that nothing was ever lost – it was just waiting for them to finally show up with a commitment to being fully present.